A telephone call comes in. We know because we hear something. Maybe a short musical melody or some quick noisy tones or maybe an old fashioned, ring ring. No matter what the sound is, something has caught our attention and begs a response.
So it was for Peter, James, John and Andrew. They heard a call from a man walking along the shores, a man by the name of Jesus. They heard his voice saying their names and we hear they left everything and answered his call. In each Gospel we hear about an invitation to follow, a calling not only to fishermen but tax collectors, prostitutes, soldiers and homemakers. Women and men, young and old, rich and poor, all received the “call”, an invitation for follow.
Jesus too, received a call, a call from the Holy Spirit after his baptism. A call that drove him into the desert, a desolate place where he could reflect and respond to the Spirit’s summons. We hear in the Gospels that Jesus encountered the devil; also known as Satan or the Dark Side. Jesus faced the demonic dark side and vanquished the evil one. God’s Spirit was with Jesus, protecting and strengthening him for his ministry.
So I wonder have you ever been called by God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. I am going to share a story with you. It’s a story of a spiritual call but it might be very different from any “calling” story you may have heard. This is a true story since it happened to me.
It was a warm June night in 1999. My daughter was asleep in her room across the hallway. My adopted son was asleep in his room directly next to the room where my husband and I slept. Our dogs were sleeping at the foot of our bed. My husband was awakened by my piercing scream. He jumped up from the bed and found me standing in front of the vanity mirror. I was shaking, just waking up myself.
He asked what was the matter and what was I doing out of bed? I could hardly speak I was so frightened. He gently brought me back to bed and helped me lay down and began to cover me with the blanket. I was terrified and kept clutching him. He said he needed to go to the bathroom (I imagine I had scared the living daylights out of him.) I pleaded for him to stay but he said he would only be gone a minute or so.
So he retreated to the bathroom while I lay shivering and shaking. I remember being extremely cold, my teeth were chattering. He came back soon laying down next to me, embracing me, helping me to calm down. He mentioned how cold I was. I told him I was terrified. He said I must have had a bad dream and everything would be alright. I told him that I felt very hollow, it was an emptiness I had never felt before. He massaged my back, I began to warm up and soon I fell asleep.
When the morning came my husband went to work as usual since I seemed to be okay. I asked the children in the morning if they had heard my scream, they said they did not hear anything. It was then that I realized the dogs never stirred even after my scream. I thought that was strange. I was very confused and concerned about the events of the previous night so I sought some spiritual advice from our parish priest.
When I saw him at the church the morning after the event I asked him this question, “If God is real so is the devil real too?” He smiled a bit and asked why I would ask such a thing. I told him the events of the previous night. He said, “Colleen, you have a vivid imagination. Don’t worry about such things. You had a bad dream. Maybe you should avoid sugar and caffeine late at night”.
He really was not of much help to me and I did not appreciate his cavalier response. I really needed some other spiritual advice so I sought out a friend of mine who spent a great deal of time in prayer. I told her about waking up in front of the mirror. She asked me a question that neither my husband nor the priest had asked. She asked if I saw anything in the mirror. I told her I did see something in the mirror and then I began to shake. She asked what I saw.
I told her it looked like a face of some sort, rather pointed at the bottom. I told her the image was rather fuzzy like hidden in shadows. She asked if I remembered anything else. I said I remember being drawn closer to the mirror and then I told her I remember saying, “You can’t have me, I belong to Him.” I then remembered waking up screaming.
As I look back at this memory I need to let you know that for the previous year or so I had been spending much time in prayer and reflection. I attended Mass daily, went for a walk afterward thinking and praying. I also spent time daily in centering prayer. I felt I was being called to pursue some form of pastoral ministry. I was very confused but I knew God was with me. I never expected to experience such a life changing event as that dream.
Let’s return to the Scripture narrative in the Gospel of Mark, Jesus is at the Sea of Galilee where he meets and invites Simon Peter, James, John and Andrew to come and join him. The text immediately preceeding this encounter at the shoreline was that of Jesus in the desert. He had been driven into the desert by the Holy Spirit where he fasted and prayed for forty days.
In the desert Satan tempted Jesus in an attempt to frustrate the work of God. Because Jesus had been filled with the Holy Spirit at his baptism, he was equipped to overcome Satan’s temptations and continue upon the saving ministerial work God had planned for him.
So too, it is with us who have been baptized and called to follow Jesus. We are equipped by the Holy Spirit to overcome any evil that we encounter. We may have doubts and fears about what we are being called to do but we have all the necessary tools and gifts to accomplish this mission. We only need to say yes and then persist in our acquiesce.
NOTES
Delivered (preached) January 20, 2018 at Spirit of Christ Parish in Roseville, Minnesota
Third Week in Ordinary Time, Year B
References: Mark 1:14-20
Image: “Statue of Julian of Norwich” photographed by rocketjohn in 2010